THE CHURCH OF ST. DENIS
2401 St. Denis Lane
Havertown, PA 19083
Dear Friends,
The members of the pastoral staff of St. Denis rejoice with you at the announcement of your engagement. Congratulations! We are pleased that you have come to us to assist you in the preparation of your wedding celebration. This is a sign that your faith is important to you, important enough that you wish to stand before family and friends to express that faith through your marriage vows.
This booklet has been prepared to assist you in your preparation. It will inform you about the guidelines and canonical requirements of the Catholic Church. Included in your preparation are mandatory requirements such as: obtaining a marriage license, baptismal certificates, etc. Beyond these requirements of the State and the Church, our pastoral staff is here to facilitate your understanding of the sacrament of marriage. We hope that the guidelines in this booklet, the opportunities to speak to the members of our pastoral staff and your participation in the preparatory program will be of great benefit to you.
The Catholic Church has a rich tradition of acknowledging significant events in our lives through our liturgical worship. Your wedding is one of those important moments when we gather as a community of faith – family and friends – to celebrate and to praise God. The staff wishes to assist you in planning your wedding liturgy, for carefully preparing the liturgy offers you a unique opportunity to express your special love and faith.
St. Denis strives to promote hospitality as a hallmark of our parish. We welcome you and look forward to working with you. We hope you will feel comfortable in allowing us to assist you at this special time.
Peace,
Reverend Monsignor James T. Graham
Pastor
Reverend John P. Collins
Parochial Vicar
MARRIAGE PREPARATION PROCESS
AT ST. DENIS PARISH
When a couple seeks to be married in the Catholic Church, the community recognizes that they are responding in faith to an invitation and call from God. Indeed, when the persons to be married are baptized Christians, their marital union will be a sacrament.
Since Catholics believe the marriage of Christians is a sacrament and is a very serious relationship, a decision to make this life-long commitment requires sufficient reflection, discussion, and responsible preparation. Therefore, the celebration of this sacrament is preceded by a period of preparation. You may in fact remember the preparation you went through at First Eucharist, Reconciliation and Confirmation. There are three aspects to your preparation for the Sacrament of Marriage at St. Denis:
Personal & Relational This dimension of the preparation is foundational in that it consists of honest and open discussion between the future spouses. FOCCUS is a marriage readiness inventory, which is highly recommended by the Archdiocese, and is required for all St. Denis engaged couples and those planning to participate in the St. Denis Marriage Preparation Program.
Marriage Preparation Program This dimension provides opportunities to work with married couples who have been specifically trained to assist engaged couples explore significant areas that contribute to successful marriage and family life;
Liturgical This dimension assists the engaged couple in the planning of their wedding liturgy according to the Church’s expectations. St. Denis provides an opportunity for this preparation through a Liturgy Preparation Workshop, in addition to consultation with the priest and the Director of Music Ministry.
DETAILS OF THE PREPARATION PROCESS
Personal & Relational
Marriage is a sacred and serious commitment. During the engagement period it is essential that the couple make time for true communication and sharing. It is a time for each person to come to a deep understanding of the values, ideals and perspectives held by the other. Marriage unites two people with unique personalities and styles, as well as different family, social and personal experiences.
FOCCUS, a pencil and paper marriage readiness inventory, is an aid in “Facilitating Open Couple Communication, Understanding and Study (FOCCUS). It helps you to explore basic expectations, and attitudes on money, children, religion, sexuality, and in-laws. In addition, it attempts to encourage your exploration of other key issues in marriage, such as personality factors, the impact of individual backgrounds, two-career families, interfaith marriages and second marriages.
FOCCUS in NOT a test or a way to predict the future. It helps couples communicate openly about significant topics that contribute to the success or failure of a marriage.
It is mandatory that every couple take the FOCCUS instrument. Arrangements for taking the FOCCUS instrument are made at the time you make arrangements for the Marriage Preparation Program. (See details in this booklet).
Marriage Preparation Program
The St. Denis Small Group Marriage Preparation program consists of a weekend program. The first session begins with FOCCUS, followed by the regularly scheduled Mass at St. Denis at 5:00 p.m. where engaged couples will be welcomed and recognized by the parish community. We conclude that evening with dinner together. Sessions are conducted on Saturday and Sunday, but it is not an overnight program.
You are required to attend the entire weekend. It is recommended that you attend the program as a couple at least six (6) to nine (9) months prior to your wedding date. The program is designed to help you prepare for marriage in a casual, relaxed small group setting which promotes the opportunity for couple discussion.
The Marriage Preparation Program is mandatory for every engaged couple planning to marry in St. Denis Church.
The program for engaged couples consists of the FOCCUS inventory, Mass with the parish community, support from a sponsor couple and presentations on the following topics:
Marriage as Sacrament
Family of Origin
Communications
Adjustments/Decision Making
Intimacy
Spirituality
Married couples from the parish share information and experiences in the context of building a relationship which enriches a Christian marriage. Sponsors who share a commitment to marriage join you during mass, dinner and one informal meeting as another source of information and support during your preparation. While the focus is on you enhancing your relationship, we hope that informal conversation with engaged couples and team couples will add to your experience. Dinner will be provided on Saturday evening and lunch on Sunday afternoon. Light snacks will also be provided. Dress is casual.
Available Dates (must attend both days)
Weekend of January 24, 2009 and January 25, 2009
Saturday, January 24, 2009 – 1:00 PM – 7:30 PM
Sunday, January 25, 2009 – 11:00 AM – 5:00 PM
Weekend of April 18, 2009 and April 19, 2009
Saturday, April 18, 2009 – 1:00 PM – 7:30 PM
Sunday, April 19, 2009 – 11:00 AM – 5:00 PM
Registration Information
Use the attached registration form and mail with your $150 fee to:
St. Denis Church
2401 St. Denis Lane
Havertown, PA 19083
Space is limited; therefore early registration is encouraged as sessions fill quickly. The non-refundable fee is $150.00 and must accompany your registration form. Registration must be received two weeks prior to the program you are interested in attending.
Please make your check payable to St. Denis Church; your check is your receipt. A notice about the program with additional details will be mailed to you approximately three (3) weeks prior to your first session.
Location
The Pre-Cana Program is held in the Grimes Center located on the St. Denis Campus. The building is located across the street from the church at the base of the parking lot and cemetery.
For questions regarding St. Denis Pre-Cana Program please call Suzanne Gallagher at 610-789-9415.
PLEASE DETACH AND MAIL TO:
St. Denis Church
2401 St. Denis Lane
Havertown, PA 19083
TODAY’S DATE_________________________
Please Print
Your Name________________________________________
Mailing Address____________________________________
_________________________________________________
Your Phone Number________________________________
E-Mail Address ___________________________________
Parish/Church_____________________________________
(If not Catholic, please indicate Church affiliation)
Fiancé’s Name_____________________________________
Fiancé’s Address___________________________________
_________________________________________________
Fiancé’s Phone Number_____________________________
Fiancé’s Parish/Church______________________________
(If not Catholic, please indicate Church affiliation)
Date of Marriage____________________________
Church of Marriage_______________________________
Pre-Cana Date Requested:__________________________
Additional Pre-Cana Programs available for couples unable to attend the St. Denis program:
A) Archdiocesan Sponsored Pre-Cana Regional Sessions (Large Group)
This is a series of lectures given four nights for two or four weeks. This series is for members of all faiths. The topics covered are similar to our parish program and are presented to you by married couples, counselors, and deacons.
You will be given proof of attendance at each session. This must be presented to your parish priest as part of your preparation.
Reservations close as soon as sessions fill. Seating is limited, so early registrations are encouraged. There is a fee for these sessions. Schedules and registration forms are available at St. Denis Parish throughout the year. This program includes the FOCCUS, marriage readiness inventory.
B) Catholic Engaged Encounter Weekend
This retreat style program is held at various locations within the Archdiocese of Philadelphia. They begin at 6:30 PM on a Friday and conclude at 4:00 PM on Sunday. Reservations are limited to a small number of couples. During the weekend, an engaged couple has the opportunity to communicate with each other privately on many aspects of married life, always from the viewpoint of their own relationship. A trained team of married couples and a priest will present ideas to you. Reflection and dialogue with your partner are the core of the weekend. The entire group meets for meals and for participation in liturgy. There is a fee which covers all costs of the weekend. Contact the Family Life Office (215-587-5639) for dates and registration information.
C) Hispanic Marriage Preparation Program
Contact the Family Life Office (215-587-5639) for details and current schedule.
D) African American Marriage Preparation Program
Contact the Family Life Office (215-587-5639) for details and current schedule.
III. LITURGY PREPARATION WORKSHOP
This practical, hands-on workshop is aimed at introducing couples to the many options and choices available for their wedding liturgy. It is a 90-minute meeting and begins promptly at 7:30 PM. It is held in the Church. The workshop is offered twice yearly (in January for Spring/Summer weddings and in June for Fall/Winter dates). You will be given a booklet containing the readings that you can choose for your wedding. Please complete the form inside the booklet and return to the Parish Office at least two weeks prior to your wedding.
One of the priests and the Music Director will offer guidelines for planning your wedding from beginning to end. Topics will include: choice of readings, choice of prayers, options within the Rite of Marriage, preparation of a wedding booklet, music selections, choosing a cantor/vocalist, etc. There is time for questions and answers.
An additional meeting with our Music Director will be necessary to work out the specifics of the music at your wedding. Please call 610-446-0200 to arrange a meeting with Mr. Ralph Purri.
Please fill out the registration form and mail it to or leave at the rectory office. This will reserve your place and enable us to prepare the necessary materials.
REGISTRATION FOR EVENING OF LITURGY PREPARATION
Name (Bride)___________________________________________________
Home Phone____________________________________________________
Address________________________________________________________
Name (Groom)__________________________________________________
Home Phone____________________________________________________
Address________________________________________________________
DATE OF MARRIAGE______________________________
___________Yes, we will attend the Evening on:
(Please check one.
FRIDAY, January 9, 2009 __________
FRIDAY, June 12, 2009 __________
Please return to St. Denis Rectory or mail to:
Wedding Liturgy Preparation Workshop
St. Denis Parish Office
2401 St. Denis Lane
Havertown, PA 19083
BASIC REQUIREMENTS IN PREPARING FOR MARRIAGE
A. Documents needed
Baptismal Certificates dated within six (6) months of your wedding are required for both parties, unless baptized at St. Denis. If one of the parties is not Catholic, a proof of baptism is required.
Two witnesses that would be able to give testimony to the fact that you and your fiancé are free to marry. To be free to marry means that neither you nor your fiancé have ever been married before in any kind of ceremony, civil or religious. This testimony can be taken by a priest or deacon of the parish of the witness, and then mailed to St. Denis Rectory.
If you have been married before, you will also need a certificate of death for your former spouse or a Catholic Church nullity decree.
An interview with a priest of St. Denis is required. At that time the priest will compile the information that you provide. At the same time the priest will ask you your understanding and intentions regarding marriage. This interview is referred to as a Pre-nuptial Investigation. This process is required by Church Law, and is an Archdiocesan policy.
B. Marriage License
This can be obtained at any County Courthouse in Pennsylvania sixty days before the wedding date. It must be presented to the rectory office ONE WEEK before the wedding.
C. Music at Your Wedding
The Sacrament of Marriage is enhanced by the use of liturgical music. Whether a couple chooses a nuptial Mass or a nuptial ceremony, music can help to focus the attention of those assembled and create the mood for prayer. The following is information to acquaint you with what St. Denis provides, and the procedures that are in place:
Our parish Director of Music, Mr. Ralph Purri, is the organist for weddings and is at your service. You will meet him at the Liturgy Preparation session. To insure that Mr. Purri will be available on the date of your wedding, contact him at the rectory (610-446-0202) or at home (610-789-2354) following your initial meeting with the priest.
There are parish cantors available to help facilitate the singing. More information will be given at the Liturgy Preparation session.
If you wish to have musicians other than what the parish provides you will need to speak with Mr. Purri. He is responsible for making sure that visiting musicians are competent and that the music selections meet the criteria of the Archdiocese.
If you elect to use another organist or guitarists in place of the organ, Mr. Purri’s fee is still due to the Church in addition to whatever the visiting musician(s) may receive. Arrangements of fees and payment should be made directly with the visiting musician.
D. Fees
All of the following fees are due ONE WEEK prior to the wedding date. Please make the checks payable to the appropriate party, and submit in clearly marked envelopes to the rectory.
Church & Organist:
Parishioner $450.00
Non-Parishioner $650.00
Cantor/Vocalist $125.00
Total Check: $575/$775
Checks payable to St. Denis.
Additional Instrumentalists: Fees & payment arranged with
Instrumentalists.
3. Altar Servers: Two servers are assigned to each wedding unless you provide servers of your own choosing. We suggest giving the Altar Servers a minimum of $10.00 each. Place the cash in two separate envelopes.
WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW
1. Times available for weddings and rehearsals:
Weddings are scheduled for Fridays at 6:30 PM and Saturdays at 11:30 AM and 1:30 PM. Rehearsals are usually held on the Thursday or Friday evening before the wedding date and should be arranged with the priest.
2. Photographs and Videotapes:
You and your families will treasure these. The taking of pictures, however, should not become a distraction from the Liturgical ceremony. If possible, we suggest hiring a professional photographer and/or video camera operator. Only one of each is permitted to photograph the ceremony. The photographer and/or video camera operator are required to check with the presider at least 30 minutes prior to the ceremony. The video cameras must use battery power and be on tripods. No additional external lights are permitted.
Picture taking is permitted in the church after the wedding but for only an additional 30 minutes after the wedding ceremony because of the scheduling of other parish liturgies.
3. Rice, Birdseed, Confetti, Balloons or Bubbles:
These are not permitted because we wish to avoid an accident, injury and harm to our environment.
4. Alcoholic Beverages:
These are not permitted on church property at any time. This space is sacred and we wish to treat it with the dignity it deserves. We ask that the couple communicate this to the wedding party and to the chauffeur, if a limousine is used. The use of alcohol by a couple prior to the ceremony could seriously impede one’s ability to fully and consciously make the vows, and therefore this could affect the validity of the marriage.
5. Parking for Bridal Party:
To ensure your safety, no parking whatsoever is permitted on Eagle Road in front of the church. This includes limousines. Please park on St. Denis Lane. Other parking is available across the street from the church.
6. Unity Candle:
This practice has never been a tradition in the Roman Catholic Church and it is not included in the Church’s Marriage Ritual. For this reason, this practice is not permitted at St. Denis.
7. Aisle runner is not permitted because of safety concerns.
8. Rite of Peace is a simple rite which calls all in the assembly to share the sign of peace with one another. Therefore, this rite should not become too long or involved.
9. Blessed Mother may be honored in a special way at your wedding. Any
who wish to do so are invited to have a floral arrangement placed before the Blessed Mother statue in our church prior to the beginning of the liturgy, or a flower arrangement may be placed on the altar under the statue after the
Prayer after Communion, or the final prayer in the wedding ceremony.
FLOWERS
In addition to the personal flowers of the wedding party, many desire floral arrangements in the church to enhance the liturgical space. We ask you to keep in mind the following guidelines when making arrangements with your florist.
1. The liturgical season prevails. Whatever has been placed in the church to enhance our daily and Sunday worship during the different liturgical seasons will remain and cannot be removed for your wedding ceremony. For example, during Advent (November & December) the seasonal environment will remain.
During Lent, the penitential season, (February – mid-April) the large wooden cross is often present and the Church is barren. You may place flowers in the Church during these seasons, but because of the nature of these seasons, they will be removed after the ceremony. Please keep in mind the simplicity of these seasons when choosing your flowers.
Christmas and Easter often afford us with an abundance of flowers in the liturgical space. If you are getting married during either of these seasons, please speak to the Priest. Additional flowers may not be necessary.
2. We invite and encourage you to use the vases or candle rings which we have at St. Denis for your floral arrangements. Please contact the Parish office to arrange for their use. The vases use a #10 papier-mâché container as a liner for the flowers. The papier-mâché containers and plastic buckets used by many florists are inappropriate for the liturgy and are, therefore, not permitted. As an alternative, you may use baskets or some of the more decorative containers that florist do offer.
3. If you wish to use flowers, greens, or bows to decorate the ends of the pews, please note that the use of tape or wire is prohibited when attaching these arrangements due to the damage this causes to the pews. Please communicate this to your florist.
4. If there are other weddings on your date, we suggest you contact the other couples. You may be able to share your flower arrangements and split the cost. The office staff would be happy to assist you in these arrangements.
God bless you both. If further assistance is needed, please contact the parish priest assisting you with your marriage arrangements.
Philadelphia, PA